Two Mamas, One Baby Boy (On The Way!)

A blog to record the trials and tribulations of two married women trying to have a kid. Because getting pregnant without a penis in the bedroom is really complicated. And overwhelming. But we're convinced it'll be worth all the trouble and then some. I'm Tracy. I'm 34 and my wife is 30. We've been together for five years, married for two, and we have 3 dogs, a cat, and a betta fish.

We were trying to conceive with a known donor and home inseminations, but after 6 unsuccessful attempts, made the decision to seek the help of an RE and move to IUIs. I took 50mg of Clomid CD3-7, ovulated on CD14, and we got our BFP on 12/23/13 at 16DPO!

Lilypie Maternity tickers

southernnerdett:

twomamasonebabyboy:

My response to a friend’s query this morning. Yesterday was a rough day. Here’s hoping today is better.

I think I’m going to put stuff away in the baby’s room and write out a labor plan today. I don’t really think I need a birth plan because what I want and what our birth center offers as standard practice are essentially one and the same. My wife has asked I write out a labor plan, though, so she has something to refer to for ideas and suggestions to help me. I thought that was a fantastic idea because I’m not really sure what I’ll want and I think it might help both of us to have some things written down.

Baby boy was suuuuuuper high yesterday and making me incredibly uncomfortable. So far, he’s down a bit lower today and I feel like I can breathe again.

Now, if this damn yeast infection would clear up, that would be great. Stupid antibiotics.

That’s awesome! I’m 31 weeks and in much of the same place minus the yeast infection. My sons carrying super high as well! 

Could you elaborate upon a labor plan though? >.> My OB’s office is over an hour drive away and The birthing center is in the same place…sooo….yea…

Hello! I just saw this, so I apologize for the delay in responding!

For us, a labor plan is basically going to be a list of ideas and tasks for when I’m in labor. Ideas meaning strategies she can use to help me through the process, especially as the pain gets worse. Neither of us are sure what I will and won’t want, I’m going to write down things I think might help me. Whether they be positions to labor in, tools to use (like the birthing ball), music to distract me, movies or TV shows to watch, massaging my feet and legs, rubbing my head, etc. They’re mostly just things I know relax me now in various stages of stress or distress and because my wife does better when she has instructions or a list, and we’ll both be a bit on edge, we thought it would be a good idea to have something to refer to.

As far as tasks, I think they’ll also help as distraction. We’ll probably finish packing our birth center bag, make sure the dogs are settled, make sure we contact someone to come check on them at some point, etc. And my wife said she’d shave my legs for me. :) And paint my toe and finger nails if I wanted. And I told her it’s important to me that I have clean feet, so she said she’d wash my feet if they’re dirty. Hahaha. Just little stuff like that.

I hope that helps!

First of all, I want to welcome all my new followers! Thanks for joining me/us in this crazy adventure. I have to ask - how are you all finding my Tumblr?? Tags? Referrals from other blogs? I’m mostly just curious!

I also want to thank everyone for their lovely comments on the photos from our maternity shoot! We are pleased we have so many people fooled into thinking we have such well-behaved dogs when in reality, there was much shouting, chaos, and so on. ;)

I canNOT believe how close my due date is, you guys. Baby boy could decide to be born at any time now, which is an exciting and terrifying thought.

I’ve reached the point where every single day is a little more difficult and uncomfortable than the previous. I think he’s slowly but surely making his descent down, especially if my increased bathroom trips are taken into consideration. The hip pain at night is getting worse, no matter how many pillows I use, and my feet just seem to ache all the time now. I’m so grateful we can afford for me not to work in these last couple weeks, I can’t even tell you.

My wife is out of town for a few days, so of course we’re hoping baby boy stays put. As of now, I don’t see any reason why he won’t, but one never knows. At least she’s only a couple hours away should I need her.

He’s still pretty active and his movements have begun to hurt now and again. He’s moving around in there as I type this, as a matter of fact. He’s been beating up my cervix the last few days, which is super painful. Sometimes I feel the sharp, shooting pains down into my thighs!

In the couple weeks, I’ve found I experience a lot of Braxton Hicks contractions when walking a lot or exerting myself. Which I know is normal, especially at this stage of the pregnancy, but it’s also not exactly fun. They don’t hurt, but they are definitely uncomfortable. It feels like my belly is in a vice and it affects my pace when walking.

Speaking of walking, a friend who is pregnant 4 weeks behind me and I went for a walk the other day. It was warm out, but we kept a pretty slow pace and had water with us, and there were shady spots to stop and rest. We ended up walking for 2 hours and I was exhausted for the rest of the day. Like so tired by bedtime, I was weepy. It’s sort of amazing how little stamina I have some days. I feel like that does not bode well for my labor process. Haha.

Asker Anonymous Asks:
What are your favorite baby names for each gender?
twomamasonebabyboy twomamasonebabyboy Said:

I’m not telling. ;)

We have a name all picked out for baby boy, but my wife especially wants to wait until he’s born before we announce it. We already have names picked out for the next kid we hope to have, whether it’s a boy or a girl, but I won’t mention them here for now.

I will say this, though - 2 girl names we considered but likely won’t use are Harper and Willa.

Asker Anonymous Asks:
Hi! Just totally curious - do your adorable dogs get along? Have they ever fought, how old are they? My pittie girl Ruby is 5 and she won't tolerate any other dogs :(
twomamasonebabyboy twomamasonebabyboy Said:

They do get along, yes! The black and white one a female and she’s about 6 now. We rescued her as an adult last summer because we needed a companion for our male, the blue. He’s only about 4. He’s a total lover and will kiss you to death, but is also super high energy and was getting to be too much at times. We decided it might be worth a try to introduce an older, dominant female into the pack and she did *exactly* what we hoped she would do: give him some much-needed dog companionship and be an outlet for all of his energy. She is also the clear alpha between them and puts him in his place when needed. He’s really calmed down a lot since we’ve had her and they are a fully bonded pair. :)

My former coworker has an adult female Pittie that won’t tolerate any other dogs (besides the 2 she grew up with), either, and it can be rough. Have you taken your girl to training at all? Sometimes that can help.

My favorites from our maternity photo shoot! I’d say it’s a small miracle the dogs did as well as they did. :) And look at how pretty my wife is!

Oh, and get this. My mom called yesterday and decided she’s not going to come up for the birth. I’m finding I’m actually really relieved because it was turning into a bit of a logistical hassle, which is the reason she gave for not making the trip. Part of the issue is that we don’t want her (or anyone, for that matter) staying with us for a while after baby boy is born, so her coming up would have also meant her having to turn around and go back home pretty quickly. So she’s still coming up for 2 weeks in October and said that as long as we can get in some face time on our phones while I’m laboring and then after the birth, along with lots of pictures, of course, she feels fine about it all. And I also feel totally fine and am glad to have one less stressor right now.

We had the baby shower at my wife’s office yesterday and it was lovely. Everyone was very nice and generous with their gifts and I’m so grateful for all of them. We got a few more small things off our registry, which is awesome, and are pleased to now have a reserve of Target gift cards to utilize as needed. We even got a “free night of babysitting” coupon, which I thought was super sweet. The shower only lasted about an hour and a half, but I was exhausted afterward and took a nap that was just as long. Haha.

I made a list of things I want to try to get done around the house in the next few weeks, as well as a small and reasonable daily and weekly chore list I’m hoping we can try to keep up with even after baby boy is here. Best laid plans and all that. 

Off to get some stuff done now, as a matter of fact. Have a rest of your great day, everyone!

My wife and I had a really good discussion last night during which I confessed just how scared I am of baby boy’s impending birth. When I’m in a rational state of mind, I know my feelings are normal, know that I can handle everything no matter how difficult it is, and that my wife will be there when I need her. When my hormones, anxieties, and insecurities take over, I feel very…panicked.

I worry so much sometimes and get scared. I get scared about getting through labor unmedicated and how I’ll handle it. I worry about the recovery time and how I’ll feel afterward. I fear that breast feeding will end up being difficult and painful. But really, I think what I’m scared of most is that after how hard I fought for this, how long it took to get to this point - and I’m not just talking about the TTC process, I mean all the fights, discussions, and patience I had to exercise before we agreed on a time to start trying for a family - that when baby is here, I won’t like being a parent. Or that it won’t be what I thought it would. Or that I’ll feel it’s too difficult. That sort of thing. And I worry about how badly I’ll feel for feeling that way and how I’ll want and need more help from my wife than I think I should and won’t want to ask her for it, thereby making things even worse on myself.

Like I said, when I’m feeling rational, all of that seems so silly to me, but once my mind starts going down that path, it’s hard to reign in again. I know I need to come up with SOMETHING to help with that. I did recently come across this article, filled with 5 words of advice from moms to new parents. I think it’s one I will need to and should refer to when I start feeling so overwhelmed, both before and after baby boy is here.

But I think it’s when all those thoughts become overwhelming that I feel that intense need to have my wife so close all the time. It makes me feel better. Just her presence next to me helps calm my fears and anxieties because I know that even if it’s all not perfect - and let’s me honest, it’s SO not going to be perfect - that she’s right there to help me figure out how to get through it all. Her reassurance is what gets me through the emotional rough patches, so it’s sometimes hard for me to not spiral even further downward when I’m feeling bad and she’s not there for that instant comfort. I also know I need to better manage those downward spirals on my own because it’s obviously unrealistic for her to be with me 24/7. 

Emotions are hard, especially when the negative ones seem so hardwired into your brain. But with each new discussion we have, each new revelation that comes out of them, no matter how small, help immensely in the process of feeling better. I’m really thankful my wife is who she is and is strong enough to help me deal with my emotions when they get so out of control. She gets frustrated, but never judges me for how I’m feeling and for that, I’m so grateful.

I'm so happy everything is going well! I love seeing your updates on how everything is going.
twomamasonebabyboy twomamasonebabyboy Said:

Thank you so much! I appreciate that you appreciate my updates. :)

We went in for the above mentioned yesterday. I’m up 16.4 pounds total, blood pressure was good, and baby boy’s heartbeat was steady in the 150bpm range. He’s still head down and lately, likes to stick his little bum out as far as possible right below my boobs. I was also surprised by having to do the GBS test, which involves a swab of both the vagina and the rectum. I wish I had had some warning. :p

I’d say the yeast infection is clearing up, slowly but surely, so that’s good. We talked to her a little about my emotional ups and downs and she assured me it’s normal. Which I knew, but validation from any source is good when you feel so bad about feeling so bad. She also encouraged me to be very kind to myself, to treat myself like I would treat my baby, to eat when I’m hungry, to sleep when I’m tired, etc. To just take care of myself in general. So I’m trying. I told her I think it’s just the magnitude of the change we’re about to go through that’s causing so much of my insecurities and anxieties. I still want my wife super close right now and it can be hard for me to remember that her brain is very different from mine and also isn’t in the same place. Meaning, being the pregnant one, I feel like ALL I can think about is this baby and what’s to come. Her mind is on the baby, too, of course, but it’s also, understandably, on other things. And though it’s hard for me right now to understand things like why she’d want to spend half a day off hiking with a friend instead of staying home with me, I need to try to be better about not wanting allllll of her focus and attention. 

It’s hard, too, to be feeling so uncomfortable every day and to know it’s only going to get worse. Especially the shortness of breath and the general difficulty with shifting/moving while both sitting and laying down. And I thought my feet wouldn’t hurt anymore now that I’m not working anymore, and the pain is better, but they still just ache by the end of the day.

Oh, and apparently the feeling I get now and again of my breath being taken away is Braxton Hicks! I’ve been feeling them when my belly gets tight, more and more lately, but thought the breathlessness was just the way he was positioned or something. I’ve also started feeling some intermittent dull, period-like cramps recently. My body is definitely prepping itself.

She also recommended that my wife and I plan an nice evening/outing of some sort for 2 weeks from now. I thought that was a lovely idea. We’ll have to come up with something. We’re also having a friend come over to take some informal maternity photos on Tuesday. I didn’t really think I wanted them, but am liking the idea more now. Just a few shots in our yard, nothing too cheesy or silly, and we’re hoping we can get the dogs in a couple of them. That should be an interesting endeavor given how OMG, SO EXCITED they get when people come over.

I thought the breastfeeding class was super helpful. I feel like I have a good grasp on how it’s all supposed to work, so hopefully baby boy is a natural and we get into a good groove right away. 

37 weeks tomorrow. Holy crap. I’m not really ready for him to come yet, but sometimes, like this morning, I feel overwhelmed with the desire for him to be here already so that I can hold him in my arms.

image

My response to a friend’s query this morning. Yesterday was a rough day. Here’s hoping today is better.

I think I’m going to put stuff away in the baby’s room and write out a labor plan today. I don’t really think I need a birth plan because what I want and what our birth center offers as standard practice are essentially one and the same. My wife has asked I write out a labor plan, though, so she has something to refer to for ideas and suggestions to help me. I thought that was a fantastic idea because I’m not really sure what I’ll want and I think it might help both of us to have some things written down.

Baby boy was suuuuuuper high yesterday and making me incredibly uncomfortable. So far, he’s down a bit lower today and I feel like I can breathe again.

Now, if this damn yeast infection would clear up, that would be great. Stupid antibiotics.

I turned the page on our calendar yesterday and there it was, on the 30th: “Due date!” I’ll admit it threw me for a little loop, to see that date on the current calendar month’s page. It has all gone by way too fast in some respects. I’m not yet at that point where I’m over being pregnant, but I can see feeling that way in another 4 weeks. The general discomfort continues to increase little by little, especially at night, but overall, I’d say I’m doing well.

image

I’m slowly but surely feeling better after last week. I’ve been sick more often in these past 8 months than I was in the 4 years previous. My ears are still very plugged and they ring a lot, but at least the pain is gone. My mom told me her ears were plugged for 3 months when she was pregnant with me! I looked it up and apparently it’s not uncommon, once your ears become plugged for whatever reason when pregnant, for them to stay that way until you give birth because of all the fluid retention. Ugh.

Today was my last day of work! YAY! I’m so exhausted right now, it’s not even funny. And it wasn’t even all that busy a day for me! I guess that just goes to show it’s a good thing I’m done. Hopefully it means no more aching feet. And it definitely means no more compression socks!

image

My wife insists I spend all next week doing a lot of nothing, just decompressing and relaxing and the like. I feel like I should structure my days a little bit so that I don’t end up doing literally nothing for 4-ish weeks, but I do plan on resting a lot. I’m really grateful for the opportunity, that’s for sure. I also need to get the nursery in order again since we have yet to put things away from the baby shower.

Baby boy continues to be active and strong. I think I’m really going to miss feeling him move around inside of me. I’m really not ready for labor (are you ever?), so I do hope he stays in until at least 40 weeks. We have a midwife appointment next week, after which I start going in every week, and a breastfeeding class, which I’m looking forward to. I’m nervous about breastfeeding in some ways, mostly about the potential problems as well as the issues that eventually come along regarding weaning, my own body autonomy, trying to get pregnant while still breastfeeding, etc. We’ll have an incredible support system for all of that, thankfully, so I know I shouldn’t be worrying yet, but that’s what I tend to do - worry.

I’ve become very, very protective of my time with my wife lately. This is the last month of it being just us and I really want to make the most of it, even if all we do it sit on the couch together watching stupid movies. And I don’t want to lose sight of “us” once baby boy is here, even if we are terribly excited about him as an addition to our family. My coworker has already volunteered to babysit for an hour or two anytime we want to get out together, even if it is just to go down and sit at a coffee shop. Even if we don’t take her up on it for one reason or another, I like knowing it’s an option should we want and/or need it.

Okay, off to a nap I go. I hope everyone’s having a great weekend!