Ugh, I’m not feeling well (again). I’m pretty sure it’s allergies (again), so I started up with Claritin (again) and will just stay on it through the duration of this pregnancy. Because the very last thing I want is to go into labor feeling like this - body aches, headache, and a sore and scratchy throat. Pollen levels are super high around here right now and my wife has been feeling a little under the weather, too. Stupid allergies.
I had a midwife appointment yesterday and all went well. Baby boy’s heartbeat continues to be strong. His movements are much bigger now and often take me by surprise. I lost 4 pounds since my last visit 2 weeks ago, meaning a total weight gain of only 13.4 pounds thus far, but she didn’t seem concerned. I’ve had almost no appetite the last few days, but haven’t been very hungry in general for a few weeks now. It’ll be interesting to see what the scale says in another 2 weeks. And after that, I start my weekly appointments.
I try really hard not to complain too much on this blog because I know when I was TTC, it was really difficult to read posts in which women would complain about being pregnant when I would have given just about anything to trade places with them. I even had to unfollow some blogs for a while, I would get so irritated. But I have to say, being pregnant, even when you really want to be and wouldn’t trade it away for anything, truly isn’t always easy. I’ve been really uncomfortable the last couple days, but in ways unrelated the to allergy stuff. Like I just can’t get comfortable easily (or stay comfortable for very long). Finding a position to sit or sleep in that doesn’t cause labored breathing is challenging and my belly feels extremely heavy and stretched to its limit. Standing sucks because my feet ache terribly after only 15 minutes or so. Thankfully, I only have another week and a half of work before I go on maternity leave. I’M SO EXCITED. Hopefully I’ll be able to get more rest then and that’ll help lessen some of my physical and emotional symptoms.
I know I sound like a broken record, but it continues to shock me how close we are to meeting our baby boy. Even as I sit here and type this and feel and see him moving around inside of me, there’s still this hypothetical aspect to it all when I think about him actually being here with us. I can’t wait to hold him, can’t wait to see my wife with him, to lay in bed with her, our tiny little boy in between us. It’s an amazing thing to have that to look forward to and I am so incredibly grateful.
Would totally recommend seeking out a therapist now. If it’s a non-MD, then preferably one who partners with a psychiatrist for med back-up in the case that you do decide to go on anti-depressants post-partum.
I have a very strong aversion to antidepressants, have been on more than one in the past and never felt they were effective enough to deal with the side effects. I think they can be incredibly helpful for a lot of people, but they would truly be a last resort for me. Like things would have to be *really* bad. In the last 6 years or so, I’ve seen 2 different therapists at 2 different times in my life and have felt the therapy alone to be very effective for me. But thank you for the input! <3
Totally unsolicited advice but I had anticipatory anxiety about post-partum depression (and a history of depression and anxiety) and went and saw a psychiatrist who specialized in pre/post natal mental health and it really helped.
I’ve thought about seeking out a therapist. I have no aversion to therapy, have sought it out several times in my life, but just haven’t taken the steps. Yet. I think it might be a good idea to at least start looking into it. Thank you for the advice. <3
I’ve heard TONS of amazing stories about placenta pills helping with PPD, if you haven’t looked into doing that already :)
You know, I’ve started to consider it. It wasn’t anything I was really all that interested in doing until recently. Frankly, the idea kinda grosses me out. Not that I judge anyone who chooses to! It’s just never been something I wanted to do. But I’ve heard how much it can help with PPD, too, and I’m starting to think I should maybe try it, like I shouldn’t pass up any opportunity that could possibly help me.
One of the midwives at the birth center does the encapsulation, which is nice and convenient, so maybe I’ll get more details from her. I think we’d have to keep my placenta in our refrigerator or freezer for a couple days, though, and I’m honestly not sure I want to deal with that. Lol. Thank you, too, for the input!
Thank you so much, I really appreciate it! xo
Only 6 weeks until my due date. Physically, I’m feeling relatively well - hip pain most nights and my feet hurt like hell every day after work, and I’m still not super hungry, but it could be much worse.
Emotionally, I’m a wreck and having a rough time. Familiar feelings of depression, insecurity, and inadequacy have wormed their way into my brain once more. It’s exhausting, both for me and for my wife, I know. I mean, how often can you realistically ask the person who has clearly devoted her life to you and the baby you will soon have together if she’s sure you and this life you have together are “enough”? It’s not really fair and she shouldn’t have to reassure me at all. And yet I want to ask her every day lately.
I worry about postpartum depression. I feel like it’s a given, really. I’m trying really hard to come up with some coping techniques now, but it’s difficult to not just give into it and cry all day, ya know? But I’m working on it.
We need to make a list of what to pack in our hospital bag. Well, birth center bag. I’m most excited to pick out baby boy’s going home outfit, of course. I think we’ll pick out a couple different ones to ensure a proper fit. :)
He’s been pretty active lately. Last night, especially. We were laughing as we watched him roll around and my wife said she almost expected him to burst out of my stomach ‘Alien’-style. Thankfully he didn’t, of course, but that’s how vigorous his movements were.
We went to a Tori Amos concert the other night and he was fairly active through that, too. More so for the pre-show Led Zeppelin that was blasting, however. My boy likes to rock out to the classics, apparently. For the last 4 songs of the show, the audience was allowed to rush the stage. Being the die-hard fans we are, we were right in the middle of the crowd. I chose a spot right in front of a speaker because it allowed a good 2-3 feet of space to be in front of me and my belly. But 2 girls, one very drunk, didn’t get the memo that if you stand in front of a speaker, you can’t actually see the performer on stage and as they wormed their way through the crowd and in front of me, I got to contend with them jumping up and down to see and then, when realizing they couldn’t, start dancing and dry humping each other. They bumped into my belly twice and my wife got super protective and soon everyone around us heard her say I was pregnant and they all formed this protective wall around me to no one else would get too close. It was hilarious and awesome.
Okay, off to get some Sunday chores done. Have a great day, everyone!
From what I know, that can happen in utero an usually fixes itself once the pressures later upon birth. Hopefully your little man follows suit!
Thank you, this is exactly what we’re hoping for!
Yes, H is right! We even have a 3-D image of The Boy’s face — save ~something~ for a surprise! ;) So glad everything went well today. (I CANNOT get used to these 3-D ultrasound images! I am so not of Babyland :) xo
A surprise it shall be. ;) The 3D scans are crazy, aren’t they?! I’m loving that we are getting such a great glimpse of what he looks like already. :)
He’s so gosh darn cute! That little pouty face is just too much! <3
Thank you so much!! I can’t help but agree. ;) Everyone keeps commenting on those cheeks and those lips - I can’t wait to see them in person! <3
Too cute!! I’m so jealous we couldn’t get clear pix of our boy! My placenta was right over him! It’s sooo exciting being able to see what they look like in there!! Congrats mamas!!
Thank you!! I’m so sorry you couldn’t get a clear view of your little boy! One of the couples in out childbirth class said that every time they went in for an ultrasound, their little one was never in the right position for them to see his face. I’m so grateful our guy isn’t shy. ;)
Oh my goodness, what a weekend. My mom and aunt flew in on the 4th for the shower, we spent much of Saturday running errands, then prepped and partied yesterday. We had decided on an open house shower so that maybe we wouldn’t have a ton of people in the house all at once, both for the sake of space since we have a small house and for the sake of sanity since I’m a textbook introvert, but it seemed as if pretty much everyone arrived and left at the same time! So for a good, solid 2 hours we had about 24 people in our 950 sq. ft. house. It was crazy loud - I went into the bathroom at one point and the roar of conversation was insane. But I’m so happy we had such a great turnout of both friends and family. It was a really fun day and I feel privileged to have so much love and support in our lives.
We received some amazing gifts, too, including some incredibly thoughtful and wonderful homemade items. Some of my favorites:
Clockwise from top left: a mobile of needle felted sea creatures made by a former coworker, a sailboat blanket knitted by my mother’s coworker, the softest ever whale and jelly blanket made by my wife’s friend, and a set of onesies with snaps on them for the interchangeable, handmade bow ties made by our friends
Other favorites, clockwise from top left: shoes from my wife’s aunt, Yoda beanie from my boss, horse cuddler from my wife’s coworker, and a classic book from my friend (who drove all the way from California!)
In other news: