Two Mamas, One Baby Boy

A blog to record the trials and tribulations of two married women trying to have a kid. Because getting pregnant without a penis in the bedroom is really complicated. And overwhelming. But we're convinced it'll be worth all the trouble and then some. I'm Tracy. I'm 34 and my wife is 30. We've been together for five years, married for two, and we have 3 dogs, a cat, and a betta fish.

We were trying to conceive with a known donor and home inseminations, but after 6 unsuccessful attempts, made the decision to seek the help of an RE and move to IUIs. I took 50mg of Clomid CD3-7, ovulated on CD14, and we got our BFP on 12/23/13 at 16DPO.

Declan was born on 8/27/14!

Lilypie First Birthday tickers

Oh, because of the space they take up (we have a small house) and the expense. Plus we were very idealistic about attachment parenting and whatnot and had planned on wearing him all the time. Turns out it’s pretty effing difficult to do anything with any kind of efficiency with an infant attached to you no matter what type of carrier you have (we have 3 different types and I’ve used them all). Not that we don’t wear him often. Nor do we leave him in the swing for large chunks of time. But being able to set a colicky baby down somewhere for more than a few minutes and have him stay quiet and content has been like winning the lottery.

We had grand plans to not ever own a baby swing, but we broke down and bought a used one from Craigslist the other day. Holy crap. Two mornings in a row now I’ve been able to let the dogs out, feed them, make coffee, AND drink it while he happily and quietly swings away.

He almost fell asleep in it yesterday and maybe, MAYBE he’s asleep in it right now.

You guys. This is huge.

I have more to write about, namely our visit with the birth center nurse who’s training to become a craniosacral therapist and how incredibly well that went and how it’s got me rethinking my pledge to give up dairy (haha). Plus there are some big changes happening here that are positive yet overwhelming. But I’m going to take the opportunity to use BOTH hands to clean up the kitchen a little while my sweet boy naps.

Have a great Saturday!

His first time in the swing:

Yesterday:

Asker Anonymous Asks:
how are you liking motherhood?
twomamasonebabyboy twomamasonebabyboy Said:

It’s rough, I’m not going to lie. Just like you can’t ever truly prepare yourself for childbirth, you can’t ever truly prepare for motherhood if it’s something you’ve never experienced before. I mean, I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but I didn’t know how hard it would be. I wasn’t prepared for how draining motherhood can be. But much of that, for me, I think, is due to how high needs he is. Sleep deprivation and frustration have led to far more tears than I was hoping there’d be in these first weeks.

He really seems to have turned a corner these last few days, however, and I have enjoyed motherhood more that ever in that time. It’s been amazing to watch his personality emerge and to see just how sweet and mellow he is when he’s feeling well. His cuteness overwhelms me on a daily basis, as does the surge of love I feel for him when I look at him.

I feel very lucky to be the mother of this perfectly adorable and spirited baby. He’s a fabulous human being that has already taught me so much and I’m eager for us all, him, my wife, and I, to continue to grow and change with each other as we navigate through life.

Asker Anonymous Asks:
do you want more kids? if so, are you going to carry them? and when would you two start ttc again?
twomamasonebabyboy twomamasonebabyboy Said:

I’ll admit to feeling a little ambivalent about another kid at this point, but I’m pretty sure that’s just the exhaustion talking. Haha.

We would like 2 kids. Our current plan is start trying to get me pregnant again next fall. :)

He’a being super cute tonight. We had an awful day yesterday. AWFUL. My sobbing was just as often as his because we were both so sleep deprived. Today has been better on every level and he’s been so calm and mellow. And happy. He’s been happy. :)

And my day has officially been made.

This little rock star weighed in at 10lbs today.

As I type this out on my phone, I’m sitting on my couch, my lap full of both Declan and his urine that leaked out of the too-big diaper I mistakenly put on him earlier this morning. I don’t want to wake him to get us both changed, however, because he hasn’t been sleeping much lately, either at night or during the day and I’m not willing to interrupt his nap for much of anything right now. So, yeah. Pee-covered lap FTW. #momlife

I’ve decided to give in and try eliminating dairy from my diet in an effort to help soothe my baby boy’s belly. It’s a suggestion I’ve read and received countless times now when it comes to possible remedies for reflux/colic, but I’ve been very resistant to the idea. Both because my MIL is of the opinion that nothing you eat can affect them so much that you’d need to cut it out of your diet and because he really doesn’t seem to exhibit signs that point to a dairy intolerance. Plus, I really like cheese and butter. And half and half in my coffee. But I’m starting to feel like I’m at my wit’s end. Yes, things are getting better, but my poor little baby is still hurting and last night was another rough one that saw me in exhaustion and frustration-induced tears. So if there’s even a small chance of it helping, I figure I should try it. It’s just for a couple weeks. Haha, unless I see a positive response in him and I feel the need to continue with it. My wife is already gluten free, so it’ll make for even more interesting meal planning.
Anyway, I don’t eat a lot of meat and probably get a fair amount of my protein intake from dairy, so I’ll have to compensate. I’m not starting until Friday, though, so have 3 days to eat all the Halloween candy we just bought. ;)

We’ve been trying the pacifier more and more with him the last couple days because it’s pretty obvious that sometimes he just wants to suck to soothe, but if he’s on the breast for that, milk inevitably starts flowing and it really pisses him off (which counters his anger when he does want milk and it doesn’t let down IMMEDIATELY and he flips his shit). He’s not super fond of the pacifier, but he has started to suck on it some rather than spit it out.

Baby clinic is today. I’m super eager to see how much this little chunker weighs. That’s really what keeps me from worrying TOO much about our troubles - the fact that he’s gaining weight so well is a huge comfort.

I also want to get some more ideas about when to pump. We’d like to start transitioning him to a bottle for one feeding per day, but I’m having trouble finding the best, most effective time(s) to pump. Of course, it would help if I could put him down for more than a few minutes at a time… :p

You know it’s love when you’re still fawning all over them at 5 o’clock in the morning.

It’s really hard to convey how difficult and disconcerting it is to have a baby with colic with pictures that make him seem so happy and content all the time. But these are snapshots of happy moments in between not so happy moments, which I of course don’t photograph.

It’s hard to know your baby is uncomfortable and that you can’t make it better for him. It really IS getting better, the happy moments do last a little longer and are a little more frequent, AND he’s gotten to the point where we can set him down more often (I put him in that bouncy chair when I have to pee and he always looks so confused by it, lol).

But I look forward to the day when I can take him out and not have to worry about him having a meltdown because his poor little belly hurts. I look forward to more evenings like the one we had yesterday, where he sat contentedly on my lap while I ate dinner and spent a good 15 minutes belly down on my chest and happily looked around, drooling all over me. I look forward to my sweet boy smiling and being happy every day.

We’ll get there. :)